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I had 23 years of that dreamy gaze of yours Ari, and now I walk. Your gentleness, your creativity, your heart of gold… moved me. You moved at lightning speed and your mind kept up with your body. I was exhausted by your impulsivity and intensity trying so hard to understand your uniqueness. Oh what I wouldn’t give now to deal with it all again. Go ahead, make a mess of the kitchen with your concoctions and crazy inventions, like the double toothbrush taped together so you could brush top and bottom at the same time, park the 17 foot bright red Buick Cutlass in front of the apartment and embarrass us as much as you like. All those impulsive acts were part of who you were, and you knew you needed discipline. That’s part of why you joined the Army. You wanted to do something important.

Walking makes me feel like I’m going somewhere. I’m not really sure where. I will walk with you, Ari. Every step I take will bring me closer to you. Maybe I hope to get closer to your truth. I don’t know, I just need to walk. Will you come with me? See through my eyes?

I want to share this beauty with you Ari. Today you can see the orange hills and the yellow light. Dusk, my favorite time of day with the light coming from the side.


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